Are You Struggling In Your Relationships?
Have there been communication problems between you and the ones you love? Do you find yourself feeling anxious, hurt or overwhelmed? Do you worry about entering romantic relationships and what they might entail? Are you starting to wonder about the potential for your relationships to change?
Maybe you’re experiencing problems with important individuals in your life, such as friends or family. They have expectations that you’re not sure you can or want to live up to. Perhaps you feel like you can’t talk to them anymore, which leads to feelings of frustration. Or maybe you’re starting to feel like you’re the only one who is trying to fix things.
It could be that you’re facing problems in the dating sphere. You may not feel certain what dating should look like or what you want out of it. You might have trouble finding people, and worry about the kind of people you’ll run into. Or maybe you’ve been meeting people, but it just hasn’t been clicking, and you’re worried things might never work out.
You might have gotten to the point where you are tired of pushing these issues aside and are wondering how to help your relationship. You may also not feel comfortable confronting your loved ones, and so you try to ignore your feelings of dissatisfaction. Or you might think you should just be happy—but you’re growing more and more overwhelmed, and you know that things can’t stay the way they are.
Everyone Experiences Relationship Issues At Some Point In Their Lives
Some people don’t see eye-to-eye with their parents on raising a family, career choices, caregiving, or values. Others have had rocky romantic relationships that they’ve struggled to fix. Many people have had some sort of trouble managing relationships, romantic or otherwise.
Many of us spend most of our days working and supporting others. We do this almost naturally because we’ve been trained to focus more on helping others than helping ourselves. This can come at a cost: we might struggle to balance the desires of others with our own, which often leads to us pushing aside our own wants for another person’s sake. This can allow feelings of anxiety and bitterness to fester.
Society also has a very specific way of talking about dating and relationships. We’re taught that only certain emotions are acceptable, or “allowed,” in relationships—for example, happiness, joy, or gratitude. It can be difficult to find a relationship with only “good” emotions, and because of this we often struggle to figure out how to handle the “negative” emotions when they appear.
Regardless of what sort of relationship you’re struggling with, you know you need help. Thankfully, counseling can guide you through the difficult emotions of a stormy relationship and help you discover what you want.
Relationship Counseling Might Be Just What You Need
Therapy is incredibly effective in treating relationship issues. It helps you understand your core values and clarify what you need from a relationship to be happy. It also helps you identify choices you can make to improve the relationship and can help you learn how to communicate your wants and needs.
I offer an open, non-judgmental environment where you can safely put your feelings and experiences into words. We will work together to help identify ways that you can communicate more clearly, discover what’s really important to you, and help you understand your own emotions.
I use a balanced combination of insight-oriented exploration and tangible skills to tailor my help to your specific situation. We engage in mindfulness techniques, such as mindfulness meditation, and compassionate self-talk to help you learn to be more kind, more consistent, more motivated, and less critical, not just to others but to yourself. I want to help you motivate yourself to reach your goals through kindness rather than criticism.
During sessions, I will help you build skills that you can use in your everyday life. For example, I aim to help you understand your core values—to differentiate between what is really important to you and what can be let go. And I can help you identify some of the smaller problems and then help you learn how to release them.
I generally also help clients identify conversational triggers. These are the issues that come up in conversation that really make you angry. I can help you work through those feelings, teach you how to properly express them, and then redirect that energy to something more positive.
Perhaps most importantly, I will help you understand and feel closer to your emotions. It is okay—and healthy—to express feelings of anger or sadness. When these feeling s are talked about effectively, they can allow a relationship to grow. I will help you develop strategies to better communicate these emotions to the important people in your life, so that you may start a conversation that will help you both.
I have been working in counseling providing help for relationships for eight years and have a Ph.D. in counseling psychology. I have helped patients through these issues, and I love to see clients gain more clarity about themselves. It is wonderful to see a shift in the dynamics of a relationship they thought would never change—it’s why I am so dedicated to my practice.
Many times people feel like things are out of their control and that they don’t have the power to make the changes necessary. However, there are still lots of choices in front of you. Together, we can work to identify the choices that will bring you happiness, and help you take the steps you need to find peace in your relationships.
You may still have concerns about relationship counseling…
I don’t think I can change.
Understandably, it can be frustrating if you’re stuck in negative patterns and aren’t seeing a lot of change. I would encourage you to be patient—change happens. My job is to help you clarify your wants, identify your strengths, and build skills so you can move toward that change.
Does relationship counseling work?
I have seen therapy prove successful, and it’s always a joy. However, I must emphasize that while therapy can work, it does take work.
I have a collaborative relationship with my clients. This means that I provide support and strategies in the office, and we find ways to practice applying those strategies in the real world. Therapy has worked for many others before, but it does require effort on the part of the client.
My partner and I are having trouble in our relationship. Do you do couples counseling?
I don’t focus on helping couples as a pair; instead, I focus on helping individuals one-on-one to improve all their relationships, not just the romantic ones. Many people don’t realize how much benefit can be gotten from individual counseling. With individual counseling, we can focus more on helping you, and you can better learn how to build skills for everyday life.
You Can Start Building Relationships With A Little Bit Of Help
If you are interested in learning more, I offer a free 15-minute phone consultation that you can schedule through my scheduling form. Together, we can take the first steps toward clarifying your values and improving your relationships.