Margarita Tartakovsky, an associate editor at PsychCentral reached out to me with these thought provoking questions about the barriers to listening to ourselves, and how we can shift this pattern. Here are her questions with my responses, which I hope help you in your journey in reconnecting with yourself! Q1: Why do so many of us not listen to ourselves? It was at least slightly adaptive to not listen ourselves in the past: I [...]
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How perfectionism holds the South Asian diaspora back, and what we can do to break free Perfectionism in the South Asian diaspora is a real thing. As a community, we value survival and stability so much that we place a lot of pressure to make sure we do our best to get ahead. Sometimes the mindsets we develop and teach down generations can have drawbacks in the long-run. One of these mindsets is a perfectionistic [...]
Burnout is usually a slow and gradual process – one that tends to rob people of their passion, their motivation, and energy, leaving them instead with feelings of exhaustion, disillusionment, and frustration. But as overwhelming as burnout can feel, recovering is possible. Here are tips to help you recover if you’re experiencing burnout. These tips can also be really helpful to implement to prevent burnout. 1. Strengthen your mindset When helping individuals recover from burnout, I highly [...]
FAQs and Tips As you search for the right therapist, you might realize you want to work with someone who gets you. You might want to find a therapist who is familiar with your cultural background and experiences. Here are some FAQs and tips on how to look for a therapist who can provide culturally competent care. Does my therapist need to look like or identify similarly as me to provide culturally competent care? You [...]
Many minorities, when faced with systemic oppression, feel pressured to present themselves in a way that they feel is expected of them. They might avoid certain topics because they expect others will not "get it." Sometimes these patterns may come up in therapy as well, particularly if clients are concerned their therapists may not understand. Therapists who provide culturally competent care are particularly aware of different world views, including their own biases, and have the [...]
What is Mindfulness? Mindfulness is the process of offering moment-to-moment awareness to our experiences in a gentle and curious way. It is an intentional practice of trying to be in the now - so when we notice ourselves pulled into the past or the future when practicing mindfulness, we practice gently shifting our attention to the present. We often associate mindfulness with meditation, but there are so many different ways to practice mindfulness. Here are [...]
When I think about change, Jon Kabat-Zinn’s quote often comes to mind: “You can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf.” Throughout our lives, things are constantly changing. Life transitions can vary in intensity, often filled with worry, loss, and doubt. Even the transitions that can on the surface feel positive, can be tied with worries and fears. Change can be hard, and can easily feel overwhelming. Here are some ways to practice [...]
When social identity issues are not addressed well in the workplace, it can cause a lot of stress. You know it’s rough when your workplace stress is about the navigating the dynamics of being the only minority on the Diversity Task Force, experiencing cultural isolation in the work place, or figuring out how to address hurtful and infuriating comments from coworkers, clients, and bosses that are based in stereotypes. You miss the everyday stress [...]
When disagreements or difficult conversations with our loved ones arise, many of us may cope by using old ways of protecting ourselves like withdrawing, avoiding, and leading with frustration. These approaches can feel better in the short-term, but can also make us less able to identify what we need and how to communicate them more effectively. If you are struggling to express what you need in your relationship, you are not alone. It can be [...]
Even – and sometimes, especially – individuals with the strongest passion for what they do can fizzle out, and get "burnt out." Burnout runs deeper than daily stress, as it's typically the result of chronic stress that's permeated into different areas of an individual's life. By understanding what burnout looks like, you’re empowering yourself to seek help if, and when, you need it. What is burnout? Burnout is an advanced degree of stress or fatigue. [...]